Keypoint Credit Union and 24 Hour Fitness Customer Service FAILs

I was carelessly logging into my Keypoint Credit Union account online today, and messed up three times.  BAM—with no prior notice at all, I was locked out of my account.

What would most normal banks do under this circumstance?

• Require me to answer additional questions that ideally only I would know before allowing me to try logging in again.
  
• Or throw up a captcha.
  
• Or, at worst, make me wait [x] minutes before allowing me to log in.

Keypoint?  They make you call.  Here’s what I had to do when I phoned in:
- Listen to a welcome announcement
- Navigate through a phone tree
- Enter in lots of data (social security info, phone numbers, home address, etc.)
- Wait for an agent (thankfully not long).
- Wait for the agent—I kidd you not—to put me on hold while he updated my records to show there was no change in my info.

All in all, a bit over four minutes.  Hardly the end of the world, but a not-insignificant annoyance… particularly if I had been overseas, not near a phone, etc.

So, the $100,000 FDIC Insured Question:  Why couldn’t I have simply been asked to Prove I’m Me... online?  Sheesh.

*  *  *

And now for something even sillier.

I’ve been a member of 24 Hour Fitness for more nearly a decade.  I love my gym at work, but I enjoy being able to take fitness classes on the weekend and such.  So when I learned that 24 Hour Fitness was building a swankier gym literally around the corner from the existing somewhat-cramped gym, I was pretty excited.  Building, building… done!

This past Sunday I admirably dragged myself out of bed, gym bag in tow… and here’s the entertaining (and somewhat baffling) conversation I had with the front desk staffer and the (apparent) manager who walked on over.

ME:  Good morning [handed him my 24 Hour Fitness card]
STAFFER:  Hi.  [Scans card.  Pauses, with confused look…]  Hmm, are you a member?
ME:  Um, yes.  [pointed to card still in his hand, which also had my photo on the back of it].
STAFFER:  But… but… hmm… your membership isn’t good here.
ME:  Yeah, I have a Sport membership, not a Super Sport [rolling eyes invisibly], but I brought this 7 day trial pass. [I hand him the pass].  I’ve thought of upgrading.
STAFFER:  Er… erg… hmm. [looks at paper, turns it over to the blank side, then back over to the unblank side and literally scratches head]
MANAGER:  Hi, can I help you?  [Staffer mumbles confusedly, hands him paper; Manager looks at computer screen]
STAFFER:  Oh, you’re in luck! [Yes, he seriously opened with this line with a straight face] You have a Sport membership, and this is a Super Sport gym, so you’re not eligible to work out here.  But I can have someone walk you around the corner—we have a Sport gym there for you!
ME:  But I logged into my 24 Hour Fitness account online and printed out a trial pass for this gym.  Just wanted to try it out, maybe upgrade and…
STAFFER:  [shaking head] No, no… sorry, that was last week.  Um, we had the open house last week.  It ended.  But here, let me have someone show you the other gym…
ME:  Er, but what about the pass?
STAFFER:  You’re a member, right?
ME:  Yes [pointing to my membership card which was in the hand of a still-rather-confused staffer]
STAFFER:  That’s the thing.  That pass [pointing to tiny print] is only good for non-members.
ME:  So, for the past 4 months, you’ve had flyers up urging members to upgrade, but now we can’t check out the new…er, nevermind, I’ll just head over to the other gym.  Thanks!

*  *  *

I’m thinking about quitting my membership.  The classes aren’t even that great, and I’m embarrassed to be giving my money to a company that’s so consistently clueless.

I, Robot

Hello.  Good day.  A little quiet?
I’m feeling a little blue myself.
You know, A little anxious for no particular reason
A little sad that I should feel anxious at this age.
You know, a little self-conscious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness.
The state that I call blue.

- spoken by the narrator (“Man In Chair”) in the awesome musical “The Drowsy Chaperone”

Today I am a little sad because of a small heartbreak.
And a little anxious because, well, I should not be admitting this in public.

Real men

don’t

 do cry.  But real businessmen… the type who are strong, who manage or mentor, who think of respect and solidness and promotions… they are not bloviatingly blathering on a blog, blissfully or blamefully or otherwise.

Think.  Think of someone you look up to at work.  Do you want to know his private foibles, hear of his personal struggles?  Really?  No. You want someone to look up to.  Someone at least a little bit larger than life.  A rock, or minimally a damn large stone.

You have your own problems, and when you want to schadenfreudically delight in someone else’s problems, you have your TV or paper or favorite internet gossip sites within an arm or eyeball’s reach.

When your current or future dear leaders are feeling blue, they ideally do not show you, much less tell you.

Then again, maybe it’s different today.  Maybe the Live Journalers of the modern era will grow up to be respected leaders… warty angst, noserings and all.  Perhaps someday we’ll view an executive’s late night facebookings with indifference rather than annoyance or scorn.

Or maybe not.  Maybe he or she will methodically scrub, hoping the last trace of emotion is gone.  Here, look, a résumé.  A fine, level-headed portfolio indeed!

And only a strong, competitive, safe, and secure heart.

Doing an expense report for work? Here are some tips

I recently traveled to Brazil and Mexico for work.  That’s damn cool, I admit.  I’m lucky to have that opportunity, grateful to meet so many wonderful people on my journeys and see so many awesome sights.

But, as with many things in life, there’s also a downside.  In this case, I am owed thousands of dollars in hotel, airfare, meal charges, etc., so—of course—I need to file an expense report.  And doing that in three different currencies is no fun, no fun at all.

Procrastinating this effort even further, I just wrote up a blog entry on my company’s internal blog system, but then I realized… heck, maybe others could benefit from my tips.  So without further ado, here they are :-D

• Sweat the small stuff.  “Oh, it’s just a $4 coffee and energy bar!” er, it all adds up, trust me!  Keep track of this.  Along these lines, don’t forget to take into account (and expense) ATM surcharges, reasonable tips (which may not show up on your receipt), etc.
  
• Put as much stuff as you can credit cards.  On the downside, this’ll likely result in an extra 1-3% fee when you are outside your home country, but… you’ll often get extra protections (such as lost luggage assistance, purchase protection, etc.) and as noted above you’ll have backup evidence of expenses in case any of your receipts are lost or stolen.  It also gives you an extra 30-6o days to cover the bills (and get your money back from your company!), which is especially important if you’re on a tight personal budget!
  
• Write down a quick note after every expense, e.g., “Sat Sep 20 dinner, incl 2 colleagues, 1 partner $R152, on Amex.” Note the pertinent details here: the when, what event, who, how $much, and on what card (or “cash”).  Add this to an “Expenses” note in your Blackberry or iPhone, or on a handy notecard in your wallet, etc.  I can’t tell you how much I’m frustrated with myself for overlooking this to-do this trip; now I’m having to piece together, er, which was the dinner where I treated a friend (my expense) or took along a colleague (Google’s expense), etc. I’ll get it right, but it’ll take a lot of extra time.
  
• File your expenses in a timely manner.  Wait too long and you might not even get your money! (there are actually tax laws about this!) But even waiting an “acceptable” amount of time… you forget stuff.  Some receipts may have gotten misplaced in the interim.  Don’t risk it.
  
• Be smart about currency values.  If you’ve been somewhere that has a rapidly fluctuating currency, use reasonable conversion rates from the days you converted your native currency, using your credit card and ATM charges as a guide. Don’t just go on xe.com (admittedly a very cool currency exchange site) and plug in the single conversion number you see today; you could be substantially cheating your company or cheating yourself :-(.

Hope these tips have been helpful :-D

A very quick found-money tip

Earlier this week I spent about 45 seconds and got $134 for my effort.

It went something like this:

1. Phone rang.  Didn’t recognize number, and was going to let it go to voicemail, but for some reason I answered it.
2. “Hi, may I speak with Adam?” [oh no… not a telemarketer!  I braced myself.]
3. “This is Angela from [dental group], and I wanted to let you know it’s time for your teeth cleaning…”
4. I explained that I had moved and was getting my teeth cleaned by another dentist.
5. “Oh!  Well, there’s a $134 credit on your account.  Would you like me to send it to you?”
6. Three days later, I found a check for $134 in my mailbox.

Why am I sharing this story with you?  Well, you see, this got me to thinking.  Maybe there are other people who have changed dentists or banks or optometrists, that sort of thing.  And maybe they’re owed money, too.

Perhaps it’s worth checking for a check, eh? :-D

- A public service message from your local BLADAM

Help me raise money for music-in-schools!

Hey there,

I’m passionate about music, and I bet you are, too.  I’m even more excited about giving kids the opportunity to have their lives enriched through music… especially disadvantaged kids who so desperately need beauty, discipline, and ART in their lives!

I just learned today that one of my all-time favorite music sites, Pandora, is teaming up with the fine philanthropic organization, GlobalGiving, to support non-profits in the area of music-for-kids.  Pandora’s even giving free posters to anyone who donates $10 or more (while supplies last).

Here’s how you can get your donation TRIPLED or even QUADRUPLED!:
1) Visit this information page from Pandora.
2) Donate some money to any of the three organizations listed.
3) Let me know about your donation (organization and amount), either via a comment on this entry, on this Friendfeed thread, or via e-mail (to adam at the domain lasnik.net).
4) Check with your employer to see if they offer donation matching!

I will personally donate a minimum of $50, and up to $250 of my own cash, depending on how much you BLADAM readers donate :-D
In other words, if those of you posting a reply here (or in my e-mail) donate $250, I’ll then donate $250.  And my employer, Google, will match that.  And perhaps your employer will match your contribution, too… making our collective donation in this case between $750 and $1000!


I’ll be making my donation this coming Monday evening, so get your donations in now!
  I’ve extended the deadline until Tuesday, Oct 13, 10pm PST

Let’s shoot for $1,000 together… or even more!

P.S.—If any other folks want to also contribute matching funds as part of this, post a comment here and I’ll add your name and offer below.  Let’s see this effort snowball!

*  *  *

Contributions so far:
- Wysz: $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100
- Jen: $10
- Char: $50 (+ her employer matching)—$100
- Jason: $50 (Jason’s employer may also match)
- Katie: $10
- Valerie: $50
- Greg: $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100
- Edythe: $? (amount of donation unknown)
- Adam: $250 (+ my employer matching)—$500
- Tiffany: $50 (+ her employer matching)—$100

SUBTOTAL: $1,020

BUT WAIT… Greg offered to throw in more money if the pool reached $1,000!

- Greg: another $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100

TOTAL:  $1,120.  WE ROCK! :-D